It’s officially December. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for it to be December? A long time. Well, actually 6 months but, it feels like a LOT longer.
I have been wanting to think and write about what I’ve learned about being a military spouse so far. Thinking about it, I realized how much I really have learned. And also how much more I will get to learn as we journey through the next Lord knows how many years in the military. Here it is…
I’ve been through so many different phases of emotions while here at TBS (The Basic School). The first emotions I experienced were while moving here, Virginia. Oh man, that was difficult. Anxiety, fear, and denial took up about 93% of the emotions in my head. The other 7% were mediocre excitement.
After Brendan officially started TBS most of those emotions were gone (key word: most). Then I was left thinking, “What am I here for? What friends will I have? What church will we go to?” Thankfully, I was given many answers to those and other questions. I found many military wife friends that have been so good to me along the way. We found a wonderful church that we look forward to going to every Sunday, and as for the question of “What am I here for?” well, that one is still in the process of being answered, and that’s okay.
Joy, loneliness, boredom, frustration, independence, and understanding were some of the other emotions I’ve experienced after being here for awhile.
Joy. Joy came from choosing to be joyful no mater the situation; and also a little help from friends. Loneliness came from sleeping over 55 nights by myself the last 4 months. Boredom came from the nights I was by myself watching TV with literally, literally, nothing to do. Frustration came when I experienced too many car problems, many calls and texts of “I can’t come home tonight”, and not having family around. Independence came from making choices all on my own, putting my big girl pants on and not complaining, and sucking it up when I felt like I wanted to cry.
Understanding, last but not least. Understanding came from going through ALL of these emotions. Understanding that sometimes life will really put you in a position where you can’t curl up in a ball and just think everything will be okay. Understanding that time with my husband will always be stretched thin, but to make the most of the time we do have. Understanding that I am now a fully functioning adult (most of the time) that makes decisions. And NO I am not “Adulting” I hate that word. Understanding that marriage isn’t harder just because my husband’s in the military. And most of all, understanding that whatever position I am in God will use it for a reason, a teaching moment, or to put me back on His path.
These past 6 months have been harder, yet easier at the same time, than I thought they’d be. I am incredibly thankful for what I’ve learned. Seriously, I feel as though I am coming out on the other side with a better mindset than ever before. But, this doesn’t mean I have it all figured out; I still sometimes just want to be back in my hometown watching a hallmark movie on the couch with my mom.
You know what I have also learned? How much I admire and truly appreciate how hard my husband works. I never knew how proud of someone I could be. And how much more I have learned to love him. It’s really a unique and cool experience to be married to a man that is apart of our fighting forces, who truly protects our country and will travel the world doing it.
To those of you following along, thank you for your support, prayers and love. This military life is an experience for the books, and one that I will always cherish.
Thanks for reading
Romans 5:3-4 ESV “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..”